I love my mom to death but she’s honestly never been a big fan of my workouts. Dominican women tend to be thick, plump, and curvy so when I lost about 20lbs she chased me around with a spoon full of food. She thought I was starving. I explained to her I was still eating but making healthier choices. I was also training for a tournament and my muscles were a lot more visible than usual. My mom told me to stop working on my upper body because my arms were “too big” and my shoulders were “too broad”.
“You’re body is not meant too look like this” My mom would say. “It’s not feminine”.
Like I said, I love my mom so I wasn’t going to spark a debate about who gets to say what is feminine and what is not, but my mother’s opinion is not uncommon. Muscular and athletic women are commonly noted for their “masculine”, “unattractive” and to be quite frank “unfuckable” features by men and women but what is it about a muscular woman that makes her “unfuckable”?
Huffington Post wrote an article on feminine masculinity and it talks about how the media portrays “attractive” women as thin, slender, and vulnerable and even though I don’t think they will out-rightly say weak women are sexy, “sexy” models have achieved the “come take me” look as you’ll see in the Victoria Secrets commercial.
I think I have heard more comments about Serena William’s body than her actual tennis performance. Personally, I think Serena Williams is a GODDESS; a strong, sexy, smart, beautiful and dominant woman. Not only is she a top tennis player (and also relentless at it), she doesn’t give two craps about what people think of her body.
I am a full woman and I’m strong, and I’m powerful, and I’m beautiful at the same time. – Serena Williams
Damn right Serena. You sure are.
I chose to write about this subject because I want to encourage women to look AND be strong. There’s another really good article about men finding “smart women” attractive. To put the article shortly, based on a group study, men were attracted to the idea of a smart woman however, when the men were placed in a room with the women who scored higher than them on a test, they were less likely to find them attractive. I think the same theory applies to a man feeling emasculated next to a strong woman and not to go into a feminist rant, I think our modern day world poses strong women (mentally and physically) to be bitchy, ugly, and annoying.
I’ve always been a push-up freak but I know a lot of women who avoid upper body exercises all together to avoid looking “bulky”. Here’s my thing, if you’re afraid of looking bulky because your urrent or potential significant other may not find you attractive then frankly, that person is too weak for you. We NEED muscles. I’m pretty sure the average pre-historic women was a lot more muscular because their day-to-day was physically more strenuous than it is now. Now that men do more of the physical labor, women taking care of domestic/nurture relating labor, along with technology makes our lives less strenuous, and our muscles are less developed but we still need them.
I speak for myself when I say this but I just want to get to the point where women don’t feel validated by a man’s attention, start acting and looking however their heart desires. If there is anything that I can leave you with in this post is, ladies, invest in your intelligence. Invest in your mind. Not in your aesthetics. Don’t get me wrong, we all like the feeling of being physically wanted (it’s such an addicting feeling, isn’t it?) but it’s not going to make you smarter. So when you’re up at night flicking through Pinterest, for style and hair suggestions, look up an article or google a random question and see what you learn. Our bodies are temporary, but if the mind/soul is eternal, it’s worth investing.